Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
