would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
