This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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