if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
