the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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