you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
