Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
