And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
