this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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