I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize