This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
