I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
