Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I checked into jail on foursquare
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
