do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
