After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize