My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
