He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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