his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
