im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
