the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the room spins SO much faster in panama
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
