I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
