i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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