one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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