Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
