He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
