party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
