white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
God I need to hump something, right now.
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