who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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