I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
