Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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