i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
