you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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