I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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