My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize