told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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