Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
