sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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