So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
