Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
