My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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