I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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