some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
