A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
