Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
