You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
