oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize