he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
