as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
