So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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