i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need water and some morals
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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