Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
