I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize