Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
