hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
