I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
