Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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