Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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