Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
