My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
