You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
