This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
