How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
