I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
