Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
