i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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