there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
