If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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