im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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