So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
