Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
