Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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