5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
