Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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