Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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