Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
