Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
