the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize