Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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