shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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