11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
